A Mushy Card

Hi there. If you’ve found this website, it means that you have inexplicably entered the words “mushy” and “card” into Google. But I’m glad you’re here. Because, well, I’d like to share with you something.  Two months ago, it was my wife’s birthday (she’s pictured above) and I did something stupid. I bought her two funny cards. Mind you, they were both pretty funny cards, both personal and relevant. Not like random-funny, but like private joke-funny. But what I hadn’t realized at the time, that while I feel more comfortable with humor than having to express true emotion, I had forgotten the mushy card. Amateur move. The wife, being a good sport and all, mentioned it a few times but didn’t harp on it. I knew though that I had done something wrong. My wife is my best friend, but she’s also my true love, my better half, and my soul mate. Surely, that deserves one mushy card in the very least. And so this is why we’re here. In an effort to compensate for my boneheaded omission, I am devoting this website to her and to her deserving mushy card. There will only be one entry—this is it—but in that entry, I will tell her how much I love her. How much she means to me. And how I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, let alone, raising a family with anyone else. And I’m doing this publicly on the Internet because I’d like everyone to know this. Whether or not anyone actually finds this website, I would still like to at least express to the world how impossibly lucky I am to be here now with her as my life’s love. Tomorrow, November 29th, is our anniversary. We’ll be married four years. And you should know that in those four years, there’s been a lot of tolerance for me on her end (see: No Mushy Card Incident), but still, in my mind, we’re the ideal couple. Far from perfect, yet closer to it than we realize.  I often wonder why it is we buy cards, and I guess it’s for the same reason we don’t do our own plumbing or we don’t fix our cars. There are professionals getting paid to do all those things better than we ever could. But the other day when I stood in Duane Reade looking through the card section, I realized that I could just buy another card and it would probably either get thrown away (recycled, of course) or shoved away into her nightstand only to then be ignored for years on end until eventually it too got thrown away. That didn’t seem right to me. A mushy card deserves more.  In an effort to express myself and for that expression to remain in existence for just as long as the Internet allows it to be—which I think is forever—I am writing this.  I hope that I have redeemed myself in her eyes with this feeble gesture. I hope that wherever she may be reading this right now that she knows that if I had a time machine, I would go back to October 3rd and get that mushy card and I would write on the front and back and side and possibly footnote it to another piece of paper. But all those words would say the same thing over and over again in different ways; I love her and I always will. And this Mushy Card will be a testament to our love for others to witness and envy just as long as you, or someone else, is Googling the words “mushy” and “card.”

Hi there.

If you’ve found this website, it means that you have inexplicably entered the words “mushy” and “card” into Google. But I’m glad you’re here. Because, well, I’d like to share with you something. 

Two months ago, it was my wife’s birthday (she’s pictured above) and I did something stupid. I bought her two funny cards. Mind you, they were both pretty funny cards, both personal and relevant. Not like random-funny, but like private joke-funny. But what I hadn’t realized at the time, that while I feel more comfortable with humor than having to express true emotion, I had forgotten the mushy card.

Amateur move.

The wife, being a good sport and all, mentioned it a few times but didn’t harp on it. I knew though that I had done something wrong. My wife is my best friend, but she’s also my true love, my better half, and my soul mate. Surely, that deserves one mushy card in the very least.

And so this is why we’re here. In an effort to compensate for my boneheaded omission, I am devoting this website to her and to her deserving mushy card. There will only be one entry—this is it—but in that entry, I will tell her how much I love her. How much she means to me. And how I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, let alone, raising a family with anyone else. And I’m doing this publicly on the Internet because I’d like everyone to know this. Whether or not anyone actually finds this website, I would still like to at least express to the world how impossibly lucky I am to be here now with her as my life’s love.

Tomorrow, November 29th, is our anniversary. We’ll be married four years. And you should know that in those four years, there’s been a lot of tolerance for me on her end (see: No Mushy Card Incident), but still, in my mind, we’re the ideal couple. Far from perfect, yet closer to it than we realize. 

I often wonder why it is we buy cards, and I guess it’s for the same reason we don’t do our own plumbing or we don’t fix our cars. There are professionals getting paid to do all those things better than we ever could. But the other day when I stood in Duane Reade looking through the card section, I realized that I could just buy another card and it would probably either get thrown away (recycled, of course) or shoved away into her nightstand only to then be ignored for years on end until eventually it too got thrown away. That didn’t seem right to me. A mushy card deserves more. 

In an effort to express myself and for that expression to remain in existence for just as long as the Internet allows it to be—which I think is forever—I am writing this. 

I hope that I have redeemed myself in her eyes with this feeble gesture. I hope that wherever she may be reading this right now that she knows that if I had a time machine, I would go back to October 3rd and get that mushy card and I would write on the front and back and side and possibly footnote it to another piece of paper. But all those words would say the same thing over and over again in different ways; I love her and I always will. And this Mushy Card will be a testament to our love for others to witness and envy just as long as you, or someone else, is Googling the words “mushy” and “card.”